Whisper-stream

Whisper-streams, I've heard this term used quite a bit lately.  I guess it was coined from Vachss' writings.  I couldn't think of a better term for what happens on the street.   Recently a friend who comes over quite a bit said I don't notice the noise so much during the day but when I leave here late at night you can hear all the talking, yelling, street noise etc...  I guess that is the whisper-stream of the street.   It sounds so poetic, and nice.  The reality of urban life is that it is poetic, if you watch there is a flow of people going here and there, children playing, noise......



However, yesterday,  I heard the whisper-stream, it was audible.  It sounded horrific........ Around the corner the police removing a man from his home. I think, I can't be sure as I stayed away.  There were 4 cars and I am not sure how many cops.  The noise during the afternoon went something like this,  crash, yell, bang, crash, hate, thud (stuff flying over the porch).   Sirens.   Kids laughing in the parking lot, riding bikes, playing, running.  People talking as they walked pass to go the grocery store. Dinner being made.  Screaming couple, fighing over who knows what..... Oh, no the baby!  (this is when I really got the whisper - stream, or should I say whisper scream.)  If you are a parent you know this sound, the sound of your heart sinking to your stomach that has now flipped to some ungodly postition in your body.   The sound of instant despair that you know this is not good.  The sound of a little kid's head hitting a fire escape.  Quiet.  Sirens.

Yesterday,  I heard the whisper-stream for the first time.  This is what I heard.  Groaning, utterings.  Oh God, there has to more than this to life.  Oh God, where are you?  Come rescue me.    Oh God, could you possibly love me?!  What is wrong with me.  Help.   I heard this.   This was the sound on my street.

We need intercessors, we need prophets, we need workers, we need friends.  God is here right now.  We need to show them. That was the whisper-stream at my house yesterday. 


The little boy is fine, and I was able to give them some burgers for supper.   I still don't know their names.  


What is the whisper-stream on your street saying.  And what is God telling you about it.  Listen.

Can of mace and police on speed dial....

Well, not really.  I meant to buy the pepper spray but forgot.  My first night alone with the kids, and needless to say I am a bit freaked.   This is a bit more than I bargained for, one can play out all sorts of scenarios in the mind of what things are going to be like but..... living this out is a different ball game.   I literally spent almost 2 solid weeks getting woke every night ( like around 2am) with fighting, shots, more fighting, things being thrown, people crying outside my window, and more.  I have heard people say they want to move here,  I have also heard people call me crazy for living here.  Whatever ministry Jesus is calling you to you always need to count the cost and be willing deal with whatever comes your way.  I tend to say what I think, and verbally process. I don't always need advice just an ear.  Some may say get over it already you are in your house but this life is so different than anything I am used too.  Just today Renee and I were talking about how it feels like we lost a year.  When we think of last summer we need reminded, we are stuck in two years ago.  I really can't explain this feeling.  Looking through kids clothes and feeling like such a waste of a parent trying to remember what she looked like in the little blue skorts and wondering why they don't fit this summer.
Jesus said Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  (Matt 11:29-30)  I am trying to practice this both spiritually as well as practically.






On a positive note the neighbor who I hear fighting all the time with her boyfriend (or vice versa) has now come over twice.  We haven't said much but she was willing to pick up some produce from me and also returned a bowl.  Doesn't seem like much but I haven't been able to get her to say hi up until a week ago so I was encouraged.  I buy produce from a friend who buys it from a grocery store all kinda under the table.   We call it "olduce"  -  eat up quick.  But it's free, and it's food, and otherwise produce that those of us living on food stamps wouldn't normally be able to purchase.   I hand out bags and boxes of this stuff to families down here.  I think it's an awesome way to share and get to know people.  They know I eat it and am in the same situation as them.

Family news - Justin graduated, Renee graduated middle school, and Barbara graduated elementary school.  We had an awesome party for Justin graduation and birthday.  We had about 40 people here.  It was so cool.  I guess our house has finally been christened.  On the flip side we worked until midnight almost every night last week.  This house and yard needed so much done.  The kids and I worked all day and Curtis came home from work and put all our work to shame every night. The night of the party we actually cleaned up and went to bed earlier than any other night that week.   So that being said....  I am going to try and sleep without mace but with my phone and will try and find something to make me feel safer before hitting the sack.  Maybe my barkie von schnauzer....  :)

My kid is graduating

Unreal.  People told me this day would come, and even when Justin was a junior in high school I couldn't wrap my brain around it.  Well, the day is here and I can't wrap my brain around it.  It seems like yesterday that he was sitting in the middle of the living room floor.  Just sitting, not playing, talking, moving, just taking it all in.    Life moves fast. 

I'll be picking up some gifts for graduates today.  Last year lots of kids walked past our house here on Shawmut Str.  after being recognized by their high school with no support system around them;  no aunts or uncles, no mom's or dad's, no grandparents.  It's amazing to me these kids even graduate.  It was hard enough getting Justin to care about his grades when he was a freshman and sophomore, what would've happened if he had no one around him.   A friend will be watching my little kids while we're at graduation and watching to see who walks home alone with their cap and gown.  Those kids will get a congratulation card with a little gift inside from their friends at 109 Shawmut Str.