Being Present

This morning Kiana and I sat on our front porch in the sun for a few minutes.  Our porch is a little dilapidated but functional.  The sun was nice and warm and the street was quiet for the most part.  My neighbor Bert stopped by to chat about his scooter.  He had a stroke a few years back and sat around for too long before going the hospital.  It is really quite unfortunate.  He seems like he was probably a crazy guy before his confinement to his jazzy scooter.   We talked about the weather and how warm it was, the fence that Curtis is fixing in the back yard and  how it doesn't look good (haha),  We talked about how is scooter isn't charging and that it's frustrating him.  He explained about the cord and what wasn't working with it.  He has been waiting for hours for the people to come and fix it.  You see he had an appointment with them.   I am usually nervous to talk with him, cuz he's disabled and all.   But today I was cornered, and it was okay.  I was present.  I was just there.   Bert can't speak.   As I am having this conversation with Bert, I can't help but think.... If his address was such and such Pond Rd instead of  such and such downtown lewiston apartment whatever would the scooter people have been there on time.  This is his only source of freedom.  He is a whole person confined to a finite broken body.  I like Bert, he's friendly.  God loves Bert.

Sunday night we had our little meeting here.  One of the neighbors came with her little girl.  We grilled hotdogs, the kids played and the adults talked.  We didn't do anything "spiritual" but I think that was okay.

This weekend we will have a houseful with Curtis' brother's family visiting for Justin's graduation.   I can't believe I have a kid graduating high school.  Tonight there is an awards banquet.  Not sure what Justin is getting but it is nice that he is being recognized.

So this week I want to practice being present.
Present for Justin's festivities
Present for our family that will be leaving soon for Senegal
Present for our neighbors
Present for our girls who are watching their brother starting to fly away

To me this means open, alert, attentive, listening, taking it in, feeling it deeply, allowing the emotions to rise, putting aside myself - it is about others.

WWJD?

Here's the rundown....

7am - notice two Dr. Pepper cans in the backyard left from our neighbors.  Neighbor lady yelled at me for dumping water on her cat.  (the cat marks my backyard)

8am - doing dishes, turn around to put something away and when I turned back around there was a tall man looking at me through my kitchen window.    What would Jesus do??  I'll tell you what I did.  I screamed at him through the window and told him to get out of my yard.  Then I ran out side and yelled at him again that this was my house and he needed to leave.  I was screaming... my throat hurt after.   Guess my adrenaline kicked in. (the guy wanted the Dr. Pepper cans)

9:30 am - left with Curtis (he in his truck and me in my car) to drive to Dresden to help him put in a kitchen top.  We were going to have lunch together because this was going to be quick and easy.  The little's were in my car with no a/c.  It took crazy long,  and I was late getting the girls from school.  My phone died on the way back so I couldn't call them.  And..... I left with two pieces of the kitchen in the back of my car.

3:15pm  - I picked up Barb and Renee and Renee informed me that dad called and I needed to turn around and meet him somewhere with the other two pieces of the kitchen.

4pm - I sat in the sun in my backyard for  few minutes while waiting for Curtis to call me to inform me when to leave and noticed  a wide open poopy diaper sitting right by me.  Not one of ours.  Apparently, our neighbors hate me cuz they didn't have the courtesy to close the diaper up before throwing it out of the window.

4:15pm - leave again, drop Barb off for a Sea Dogs game (she won an essay contest through D.A.R.E.)
met Curtis in Monmouth with the kitchen pieces.

5pm - tried to pick Justin up from school but he already was home

sometime after 5 - some kid was going to pee over my fence into my yard.

from there on we started supper, it needed to be good tonight.  Roasted Asparagus, steak on the grill, and  fried potatoes and chives (also on the grill).  After dinner - a walk to the ice cream shop with the 3 girls and Justin.  Overall a good end to a bad day.

Lots of lessons to be learned.  I hope that I can learn one or two.

Meanwhile a friend of mine's husband was hospitalized and I felt bad that I wasn't here to sit with her at the hospital.  I did pray for them today while sitting for hours in the car. So I guess all was not lost.

Note: 5 minutes after posting this...... well, I started up the stairs and I'll just sum it up in one word.  BAT
another great ending to a well, for lack of a better word, interesting day.

things that make you go hmmm....

So, this week a little boy was found in South Berwick, dead.   Who was he, what happened..... Now we know.  So sad that this can happen.  What is even more sad for me is that either there were no warning signs or no one dared interfere.   I find it hard to believe that she didn't strike a chord with anyone from Texas to Maine. 

As human beings, what has happened that we have become so busy in our lives that we forget there is a world of people around us.  Too busy, too tired, too this, too that.   Can we not take the time to look at those people that cross our path, ask the Holy Spirit if he's doing anything, if he wants us to join him.  We are Christians are we not.  Do we not have an eternal hope of glory seared on our soul.  We work for 70 years we have eternity with Jesus.  Let's think about that for a minute.  If we only had to work 70 minutes a day, or 70 hours in a lifetime we would think that was pretty okay.  Get where I'm going with this....in light of eternity it doesn't seem so long.    I understand tired.  I have 5 kids, and a drier that is not working, and it has rained for the past 40 days with not a glimmer of sun.... But let's take time to see people, talk to the person on your street, ask the woman in the grocery store why she is crying - can you help. ( be prepared if she says yes, it will take time.)   Look around and don't miss opportunities.  You will be tired and you will be blessed. 

A couple days ago we set the kids to doing the supper dishes and watching the littles so us big kids could go for a leisurely evening stroll.  We came across a poor unsuspecting young father and said - "hey how's it going"  he was on his second floor porch wondering which idiots were messing in his flower garden.  His answer was - don't ask, putting kids to bed and then I have to do dishes.   So, Curtis said, we'll do them.  (little did we know they had guests for dinner)  I washed and Curtis dried.  We got to visit with some great people and help them out in the process.  (we may have visited too long, not sure...)  Anyways, it was fun and we were blessed.

We are humans and I think we are all intertwined in this crazy thing called life. 

Prayer - you have not because you ask not

I haven't written much this week.  I'm kinda tired, depressed, and am just trying to keep my head above water with all the crazy end of the school year my kid is graduating from high school stuff.

Intercession, prayer, talking to God..... These are things I used to do on a regular basis when I was involved with church and ministry.  Prayer was a big thing.  Curtis used to say God listened to me.  I had a connection. Over the last couple years my gifting I felt has diminished.  I still pray for people God still talks to me when I pray for people, but it has become harder to listen.  Like when you have friend you're a little ticked off at.

I'm trying to pray for my neighbors on a regular basis.  They are so broken.  Like the little 4 year old boy that called me a "bitch" yesterday.  Wow, did I let him know that was not okay, and his brother, and if his dad had been there he would've gotten an earful.  If it happens again,  his dad will get an earful.  But, I cannot lose sight that it is not his fault.  What happens that at the age of 4 he even knows that word.  I'm  quite sure my kids hadn't even heard of that word, except for maybe when we were watching the Westminster Dog Show on Animal Planet.   Then my mind goes back to God while I'm trying to pray and be good.  But God, you put us here.  This is your fault, or doing, or gift, I'm not sure yet.....  How bad is that.

I pray for crazy weird things and get them.  It freaks me out sometimes.  Things I've prayed for and recieved: pound of starbucks coffee, $5k, shirts, pants etc.....  It's like I want to buy something and I just say, before God I can't spend my money on this right now.  Sometimes things show up on my doorstep.  Well, we have a 22" tv/computer monitor.  My 40 year old eyes are having a hard time watching it.  On Monday I prayed and asked God for a 26" tv that would fit in our computer case for free.  On Wednesday Curtis brought one home from the job he's been at, much nicer than the last one.  This is a 1080pi sony bravia.  I didn't even ask for a 1080pi.   I also received a glass cocktail table, and two very nice pillows.

If God is willing to give me this stuff that I ask and don't ask for,  how much more does he want to give in our community things that we are not asking.   I challenge all of you to look around and ask God to fix even the smallest things you see in your community.  Everything you see, everything the Holy Spirit prompts you. Ask!