So I sit here having been admonished by a friend for one of my last posts. If you have read it and were offended I am sorry. It was not meaning to hurt anyone's feelings but to state how I am feeling through this time that I am going through.
I am truly grateful for all the help we have received the last few months. Everyone's generosity has been amazing. God has provided for us in ways that I never would have imagined.
To my church family if you have been reading this blog - the comment about being "real" comes from leaving close friends. It is nice to live in community with people that have the freedom to speak into your life as well as the other way around. I miss that "comfortableness" and hope that I will be able find that in my current situation in the coming months.
Our family is not used to being takers but usually givers. You have only seen that side of us these last few months. I am hoping soon that it will be reversed.
So again, sorry if anyone has been offended by any of my comments. Feel free to post your thoughts, or contact me.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Feb 5th workday
A lot got done last Saturday and this Monday. On Saturday we had Free Grace Church from Lewiston Maine volunteer. They completed many tasks. Thank-you for bleaching the basement, sheetrocking the ceiling, pulling nails from boards, doing some electrical work, for the good food and many other various jobs that you completed. On Monday we had some volunteers from our church sheetrock. What a difference!
Our kitchen
our stairwell to the 2nd floor
and the stairwell to the dreaded basement
Thanks everyone for your hard work!
Curtis and my dad have been hard at work this week. Working during the day and taping and mudding by night. They both worked out in the bitter cold today and then worked more on the house tonight. Crazy how many hours Curtis has been putting in lately. He's so tired.
Anaya and Kiana are starting to go stir crazy as well as their momma. I sometimes feel like I've lost a year. We may be getting ready for another move before we actually move in to the house. Hard to think about that right now. Transition is so hard and this has taken so long. I hope God has good things in store for us this next year that don't entail moving every other thing.
I finally got my Suburban repaired. Wow, that was a job and a half. I guess maybe I'm glad that it didn't get done for free because the mechanics started on it last night and didn't get it done until 4 today. It was a check that really hurt to write but the kids were happy to be able to move again. We spend so much time in the car and the Taurus was a bit crampy especially since the back door doesn't open.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing this alone. I miss my "Vineyard" family. My friends all have their own stuff they are going through. It would be really nice for my friends to lay hands on me and pray and let me cry and be me but they are not here and I need to get used to the new normal. I hope soon that we can get into a groove of ministry and be ministered too in a way that God can really use to benefit the downtown but for now I know that I need to be at peace with where I am as difficult as it is.
I am very grumpy these days. I feel like it has been so long since being a part of a church family that knows who I am and the comfortableness that comes with being "real".
I must say I am getting an education in being poor. I once took a spiritual gifts test and the gift of poverty was on there. I thought what a joke - and look here I am. It's all good though, and I know God stuff is going to happen. Please pray for us as we struggle right now with work, tiredness, family, attitudes, etc.. I can't be easy for us or the Tripps with whom we are staying.
Curtis and my dad have been hard at work this week. Working during the day and taping and mudding by night. They both worked out in the bitter cold today and then worked more on the house tonight. Crazy how many hours Curtis has been putting in lately. He's so tired.
Anaya and Kiana are starting to go stir crazy as well as their momma. I sometimes feel like I've lost a year. We may be getting ready for another move before we actually move in to the house. Hard to think about that right now. Transition is so hard and this has taken so long. I hope God has good things in store for us this next year that don't entail moving every other thing.
I finally got my Suburban repaired. Wow, that was a job and a half. I guess maybe I'm glad that it didn't get done for free because the mechanics started on it last night and didn't get it done until 4 today. It was a check that really hurt to write but the kids were happy to be able to move again. We spend so much time in the car and the Taurus was a bit crampy especially since the back door doesn't open.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing this alone. I miss my "Vineyard" family. My friends all have their own stuff they are going through. It would be really nice for my friends to lay hands on me and pray and let me cry and be me but they are not here and I need to get used to the new normal. I hope soon that we can get into a groove of ministry and be ministered too in a way that God can really use to benefit the downtown but for now I know that I need to be at peace with where I am as difficult as it is.
I am very grumpy these days. I feel like it has been so long since being a part of a church family that knows who I am and the comfortableness that comes with being "real".
I must say I am getting an education in being poor. I once took a spiritual gifts test and the gift of poverty was on there. I thought what a joke - and look here I am. It's all good though, and I know God stuff is going to happen. Please pray for us as we struggle right now with work, tiredness, family, attitudes, etc.. I can't be easy for us or the Tripps with whom we are staying.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
At last a move in date!
Febuary 13th. Yes the day before St. Valentines - holiday of love.......Of course it was assigned to us by our church (and possibly the people we are living with, 3 months is an endless eternity with the Roundy's I would imagine) Not sure how you assign a move in date. Here you go your house is now officially ready for you to live in it. Although, none of us would live here in this condition. I think it would have been easier to hear "okay guys 3 months is too long be on your way" That would have felt like the truth.
If I could change something about this last year I would, but I can't. These last months have sucked! I wish I could turn back the clock but alas I would not be in what I like to refer to as "bootcamp for living downtown". It would not be possible to go from lower middle class to poor without going through some training ground. I can identify with many issues the "poor" have. Like waiting in line for food, wondering how to truly love someone who's place is infested with bedbugs, (I don't actually wonder about that, but I know some would. Bedbugs, lice, who cares life is too short to stay in your bubble)
So I sit here and contemplate what God is doing. A broken and contrite heart I will not ignore. I cried that out to My Father tonight. No one should have to go through this and if they do they need to be loved, cared for and treated equal. I hope I remember as I set forth to minister in the poorest square mile north of Boston what if feels like to be homeless, sometimes hopeless, and sometimes without peace. As a family I pray that we can bring a home, hope and peace to those lacking and that we'll do it with all the grace and mercy Jesus would have shown. I know it will not be easy, and in the heat of the moment I will forget so my friends, graciously and mercifully remind me. But don't make me mad.
There is my rant. If your offended sorry, (but not really.)
Oh yeah if you want to help us move.....Our stuff is already stored on the 3rd floor.
If I could change something about this last year I would, but I can't. These last months have sucked! I wish I could turn back the clock but alas I would not be in what I like to refer to as "bootcamp for living downtown". It would not be possible to go from lower middle class to poor without going through some training ground. I can identify with many issues the "poor" have. Like waiting in line for food, wondering how to truly love someone who's place is infested with bedbugs, (I don't actually wonder about that, but I know some would. Bedbugs, lice, who cares life is too short to stay in your bubble)
So I sit here and contemplate what God is doing. A broken and contrite heart I will not ignore. I cried that out to My Father tonight. No one should have to go through this and if they do they need to be loved, cared for and treated equal. I hope I remember as I set forth to minister in the poorest square mile north of Boston what if feels like to be homeless, sometimes hopeless, and sometimes without peace. As a family I pray that we can bring a home, hope and peace to those lacking and that we'll do it with all the grace and mercy Jesus would have shown. I know it will not be easy, and in the heat of the moment I will forget so my friends, graciously and mercifully remind me. But don't make me mad.
There is my rant. If your offended sorry, (but not really.)
Oh yeah if you want to help us move.....Our stuff is already stored on the 3rd floor.
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