Just a side note, nothing about this post is to pat myself on the back. I know better than anyone how far reaching the goal I am. But, from my own experience I would like to show you how I/we try to do relationship well.
I am really sick today. That kind of "ick" that goes right into your bones. I woke up this morning only wanting to sleep, not wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to make Curtis' lunch, not wanting to help Renee find a sweater or some sort of warm clothing, not wanting to play with Kiana or drive Anaya to school in that God - forsaken truck where the brakes are failing and my foot can hardly push the clutch to the floor, certainly not wanting to open the door for my neighbor kids who needed their backpacks for school and absolutely not wanting to spend the morning with my neighbor drinking coffee and volunteering to help her get phone turned back on so she could see if she is going to be able to get that great job that is going to offer her a $1 more an hour than McDonalds, pretty much not for anything.... But I have come to realize in my short 43 years of life that this is not God's plan for me. For when I am weak he is strong... so cliche. Almost undoubtedly every time when I am so tired all I can think about is bed-the phone rings and someone needs me (or God), when I am sick or at my emotional weakest-I get a knock at my door. In today's case my neighbor came over with her 2 year old daughter. It is a given, when I feel as though I can't do my day, I get a day makeover from God.
Curtis and I are always evaluating and reevaluating or mission here in downtown Lewiston. This last month in particular we have been seeking advice and guidance from those we feel God is using in our life for one reason or another. Recently we asked a local pastor and his wife what they saw as our mission here downtown as we were feeling like maybe we had missed the mark. And, much to our surprise they both said "Relationship, you do relationship well. " They also said, churches today struggle with doing relationship. Maybe we can help with that, maybe not, but we are willing to give it a try with their church first if it works out.
I think real relationship is hard to do. It requires an openness and transparency that can only come when you are confident enough that God has your back. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you, because God has it in his control. I learned this during our time of losing our home, businesses and yes...friends. Friends that found it hard to be close during our hard time. Like today for instance, I didn't want to help my neighbor with her phone problem because I was already having money problems of my own. (even though she had the money to pay me back. I didn't want to face my debit card not working) Not because we are not careful but because the person Curtis' worked for over the summer decided he didn't want to pay us in a reasonable amount of time. We are stilled owed for work done in July. I feel like this is where God wants us, it helps me relate to the people around me for some strange reason, I can talk about my money problems and my neighbors can talk about theirs. Transparency and Relationship need to feel safe. Safe, because I know God is taking care of me and for my neighbor, safe, because she knows I am a real person struggling with the same things as her. It makes her comfortable to be open and transparent with me.
As far as time is concerned, just face you don't have enough time to have relationships with the people with whom God has for you, you don't even have enough time to take care of your own kids and get your housework done. Get over it now, cry in your pillow or whatever you need to do because your time is not yours anyways, it's God's. You don't need to decide when you get your quiet time, your Sabbath, or your family time. It's not yours. I have tried hard to make my Sabbath, my family time, and my quiet time to include God and what he has for me. I think if you were to ask my neighbor she would tell you she has never been turned away from my door (and I have from hers), her children have never been turned away from my home, and I have never said.."now, is not a good time. I'll call you when I get back from the store, or the game, or (you fill in the blank). And, just a side note, I am as great an introvert as you will ever meet in your life. If I can do it, anyone can.
Here is what my day today looked like and will look like...
7am - Curtis woke me up (I'm sick and grumpy)
7:15 - 7:30 Help Renee find what she needs, get the little girls going for the day, find some random gas money for Curtis....
7:30-8:30 talk to my neighbor's kids, get breakfast for littles, help them get ready for school, drive them to school in that awful truck.
8:30 - 9 get home, clean kitchen, blow my nose 10 thousand times
9 - 12 visit with my neighbor, talk about her family, listen to her argue with the phone company and talk to prospective employment opportunities, talk more about her family, teach some couponing, talk about her kids's education, and hopefully speak into her life in the midst of all this about God's love for her.
Now I'm blogging and soon it will be time to get kids from school.
At 3:30pm my neighbors four kids will be coming over for 1.5 hours for homework help.
We are also hopefully helping their mom get her GED.
And all you out there know how hard life gets while trying to make dinner. And tomorrow I will do it all over again although it may look a bit different.
And just remember, some day you will want someone to have the time for you when you need it. Don't just make time for relationship make relationship your time. We have eternity to rejoice and play make your time on earth count.
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| Lala, one of my neighbors kids, doing her after school reading with Curtis. |
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