Prejudice

view from my front porch

I'm prejudiced.  There, I got that off my chest.   I made that confession at dinner this evening in front of my family.

Not the same kind of prejudice one conjures up in their mind.  Not racial prejudice.    Let me expound,   we are having company this weekend for dinner.   Not the kind of company I'm used to having.  This company are "real" people.  The kind of people I used to hang out with you know...before we lost our our house, businesses, and church leadership status.

I'm a little nervous to have an average family here for dinner.  What will they think of our crazy family, house, life, and the three dogs.   What about all the trash laying around the street, and yard.   It is much easier to converse with my neighbors, they think my house is beautiful, they don't seem to notice my unfinished stairs, or holes in my floor, or plywood countertops that I repaint frequently as a part of my deep cleaning ritual, or the porch with all the flaking lead paint that is falling apart.  I actually look at my neighbors apartments and think, wow, these are really nice big comfortable apartments.   They are trimmed out, no holes, windows work,  what more could a person ask for.   As for my place, I try to keep up with the dirt and organization but the truth is,  my kids, the neighbor kids, the dogs, and laundry take precedent over everything else.  Oh well.

Status quo is a state of mind I guess.

So yeah, I'm a bit jaded.   I've been rejected a little.  I've felt cast aside a little.  I know some would say it was my own doing.   But in all honesty, it has been the "real" people, the people that I used to be, that I have a hard time hanging out with, a hard time relating to and maybe a hard time forgiving.   I used to be a "real" person.  Now unfortunately my address in Lewiston has defined my status quo and made me feel like a not so "real" person anymore.   I know better than anyone that we are all real people, that status, place in society, church position, or how much welfare one receives doesn't affect whether you are "real".  (but this after all, is my personal thought process_

You see, I don't want to be somebody's project.  I want to be somebody's friend.   I don't want people to come over and feel sorry for our situation, I want to enjoy the company that only comes when those who believe in Jesus fellowship together.  It can be so sweet.

I really am looking forward to spending some time with this family tomorrow.  I really like them and appreciate all they do, and their heart for Lewiston. They are truly a wonderful family.

We are having hamburgers and chips.  They are bringing dessert.  Should be easy and fun.